September 4th, 2017

Dear Diary,

Today was going a lot better until about two hours ago. I actually thought this day was going to be a good one. Last night I texted Olivia, my girlfriend to see if she wanted to hang out today, just the two of us, and of course she said yes. We haven’t had the chance to be around each other because of going back to school, other curricular activities and the amount of homework that we get at night. Since we have a few days off from school I wanted to do something nice and spend some quality time with her. After all, we’ve been friends since first grade! She means everything to me, more than life itself. I texted her to meet me in the local Starbucks at 1 pm for a coffee then spend the rest of the day at the beach for a picnic. I just love to walk romantically down the beach as the sand pressing against our toes while the water washing it away. Being with her makes me so happy, she completes my life.

At 12:55 pm I sat in Starbucks waiting for Olivia to enter. She is the type of person to be always on time, which I love. I watched the people passing the window to watch out for my girl. Five minutes passed. Ten minutes! Thirty minutes! What was wrong with her? I took out my phone and phoned her. It rang, rang and rang. No answer. I tried her again. Texted her and also sent multiple snapchats. Nothing. Something definitely wasn’t right with her. I stayed on for another few minutes while I sat drinking my Caramel Frappuccino. An hour passed and still no sign of Olivia.

I got up and walked out of Starbucks. Looking left and right worried as hell wondering if she was alright. I called her home phone to see if she was home but with that I got another no response. I was really panicking. What if she was in accident? What if she was about to ring and someone kidnapped her? So many questions rang through my mind as I sat in my black JEEP. I contemplated calling the cops but she hasn’t been missing for at least 24 hours. That would be pointless. I turned the key in the ignition as my jeep roared to life. I looked at the time on my phone it was 2:13 pm. I looked all around me as I pulled out of the car space at edge of footpath and drove at full speed to Olivia’s house.

A few minutes later I was driving passed the black Camaro car parked outside Olivia’s entrance. A car I was too familiar with. What the hell was Gavin doing here? My best friend! Was he looking for me? Maybe that’s what held her up. As I drove passed his car, I saw Gavin kissing some girl, but that girl was mine. Olivia and Gavin were making out in the front seat of his car. Parked outside her house!!! That just made me sick. How could both of them betray me like this? Whatever they’re going to say will not change the fact that they are both in the wrong. They can come begging for forgiveness but they ain’t getting it from me. I kept on driving as this enormous feeling come over me as if my heart was breaking into tiny pieces. I never felt like this before. I don’t think I can cope with this feeling. Then the feeling turned to pain and tears poured out of my eyes. Down my face. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and kept on driving. I just don’t know how to cope with this feeling. The pain, it hurts! She hurt me so much. I thought she was the one.

Obviously not!

I kept driving till I reached a store to pick up this journal. I want to write down how I feel because I think it will act as therapy for me. I can express my feelings and thoughts. They won’t be bottled up and it’s as good as speaking with someone. We will see how it goes. It’s 3:16pm as I write this and I feel a little bit better. Not the fact that Olivia has betrayed me but the fact that I can expressed how I am feeling and not be judged. Not that I should be judged but all the same. It is between me and the journal. I must go now and do some chores for mom. She’s bugging me ever since I came home early to do this and that. Can’t escape it but just do it. I might be on later if I have time.

It’s now 10:25 pm and I am sitting on my bed as I feel even worse about the whole thing. I am still furious and upset at her for what she’s done. I can’t believe my best friend would do something like that. He even sent me a text message asking how I was. As if I would reply to that backstabbing dumbass. Like what happened to guy code? Clearly that didn’t matter to him when he was shoving his tongue down my girl’s throat. The image I have of both of them makes me throw up. My mind has imprinted that imagine in my brain forever. I am afraid to go to sleep in case I dream and have to relive it all again.

**Ugh** I hope tomorrow is a better day but I know that it’s just going to get worse. So much to be answered but now is not the time for those. It is time to sleep.


Kyle x